I’m really not sure why NFT people want to start playing. Sure, gaming is a very profitable industry with a huge and often influential marketplace and is already inextricably linked to advances in technology … ok, I see exactly why NFT people want to get into gaming. But gaming is such an incredibly difficult thing to get that I struggle to understand crypto’s obsession with the medium. Now there’s a crypto console, Polium One, and I’m not sure how all these people who are smart enough to make millions of pictures of ugly monkeys can be stupid enough to get everything so wrong.
Breaking into gaming via the console racket is extremely difficult. Microsoft has only been working on losses for years. Google and Amazon, the two kings of capitalism, both failed. An NFT console is about the dumbest pitch I can think of. A console made of cheese that runs games made of strawberries sounds like a better idea. Every time an NFT brother talks about taking a gun from Call of Duty and dropping it in Fortnite, it not only sounds incredibly boring, it also shows a complete misunderstanding of how game engines work and communicate with assets, not to mention shortcomings on appreciation for art style. It’s like the scene in Inception where Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a gun, and Tom Hardy tells him “you must not be afraid to dream of a slightly bigger loved one,” and then produces … a slightly different gun.
Of course, this is no surprise. There is zero creativity in the NFT game, and that is because they are all looking to make money. Grit, the awful NFT game that was supposed to blow our minds (but is actually the thinnest Red Dead rash with a Fortnite palette, and it also looks rubbish) gave away a talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show that stops, spectacular, never the same, completely unique, completely never been made before horse that was in fact, just a Unity asset. The logo of this new NFT console is just the GameCube logo with a slight tweak. All monkeys look the same.
There is a version of the future where the NFT people get things right. Digital ownership, in one form or another, is likely to become a larger part of our lives as the years go by. We already use digital money for most major purchases and many smaller ones, so a form of cryptocurrency may well become the norm. We have always grown and improved our technological infrastructure, so a new version of the internet may emerge. However, I do not think the charge will be led by monkey sellers.
This console claims that it will be ready in 2024, when we will probably all drive through Elon Musk’s underground tunnels to pick them up. There is almost no chance that this console will even be launched, and less than that it will do so by 2024 with its current promises. Polium One will be more powerful than the PS5 and Xbox Series X, except that it definitely does not want to, will have a controller more advanced than DualSense, except that it definitely will not, and will have a special wallet button so you can keep pouring your money into cryptopyramid games, which yes, it definitely will. Taking money from crypto bros is so simple that it is absurd to build an entire console for it. You can only claim $ 50,000 for a doodle of a lamb with a baseball cap and hidden Nazi images, and you’ll get a tough guy to buy it as if their working life depends on it. Making an entire console to do so feels like jumping to Wile E. Coyote lengths.
There are no specifications for the console beyond vaguely promising 8K, no games (Axie Infinity and Grit feature in online mock-ups of the console’s interface, but none of them have been confirmed yet), and maybe not even a company. Apart from the console’s website and a Discord channel, there is no information on who or what Polium is. Pre-orders are of course available. Even more of course, you pre-order through an NFT embossing process. If you think this console is real, I have a non-fungal image of a bridge to sell you.
